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Book One
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ISBN-10: 1-55404-481-2
Genre: Science Fiction
eBook Length: 87 Pages
Published: August 2007

From inside the flap

Depressed, owing to his having been rejected by a lover, Fred fails to see a strange object streak across the horizon. As he walks the Californian topless beach he does not even pay attention to the variety of breasts the view of which he would otherwise enjoy. Greatly preoccupied, he fails to notice a beautiful topless woman until she stands almost in front of him. He grows immediately attracted to her. Later, he discovers that she vents a very powerful pheromone: one hard for any man to resist.

Surprise grips him when he learns that her name is Acklinta, and she claims to be an alien from a far-off planet. At first, he thinks that she must be crazy, or that she has been smoking one of those funny cigarettes, but she gradually convinces him that she is from Forsuntia, and she came to Earth to shop for products for her family’s intergalactic import/export business. She’s hot, and her pheromones prove effective. She readily gets Fred to agree when she tells him that she wants him to be her first human conquest.

She informs Fred that she is a “fabrication” based on the Playboy parts manual: a collection of the magazine from the 1980s, when female pussies were not shown. Rather than have the engineers guess, she opted to keep her set of two pussies: unique orifices equipped with blue tongues. Fred finds that these marvelous holes can suck a man’s organ into their depths, lift him to orgasm and then milk him dry. A major design flaw, however, resulted from the engineers’ viewing an old film that showed a woman masturbating. Knowing nothing of human female genitalia, the engineers assumed that the woman’s clitoris must be located in the tip of her finger. This design flaw creates a major problem for Fred, because the only way that Acklinta can come is by sticking her finger in the eye of a male partner.

A few other extraterrestrials show up from time to time in this humorous story. Acklinta’s body features other idiosyncrasies, such as the sonar devices located in her boobs, the thermostat located where the sun doesn’t shine, and the aperture in her navel that opens and closes as she sniffs the air. In addition, she is not shy about telling of lovers from other planets.

When Acklinta travels home to take care of business, Fred comes up with a plan designed to allow him to accommodate her clitoral finger without suffering any pain. (She describes herself as a “Poke, stir, thank you sir” kind of gal.) After implementing this drastic strategy, he gets a major surprise when his beloved returns, and he and Acklinta make love!